How Eight Months Changed My Life More Than 18 Years
It's wild how eight months can completely transform you. For me, it was like being reborn, and I owe it all to Amaya, my incredible girlfriend. Without her, I might have stayed stuck in my old ways, surrounded by my tight-knit circle of Indian friends, eventually marrying within my race, and raising kids with the same out-dated perspectives I grew up with.
Before Amaya, my world was small. I was on a path to perpetuating the same cycle of exclusivity and unfounded prejudices. My upbringing, while loving, was limited in perspective. My parents, and their parents before them, passed down their views without questioning them. Children are like molten iron, ready to be molded into something beautiful or something destructive. Amaya's mom did an amazing job raising her, while my parents, though well-meaning, couldn't see beyond their own experiences.
Our relationship highlights a bigger issue in society: the need to step outside our bubbles. It's human nature to feel comfortable with the familiar and anxious about the unknown. My upbringing was filled with subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues that perpetuated racism, colorism, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination. I was taught to be wary of certain races without understanding the systemic issues they faced.
Everything around me (my family, friends, culture, and even the films I watched) reinforced these biases. When I got my first phone and access to the internet, I thought I'd finally break free and form my own beliefs. But my mind was already shaped by the ideas I grew up with, and I found myself gravitating towards familiar perspectives.
Then Amaya came along. She pushed me to confront and question everything I believed. We argued, debated, and eventually found common ground. One conversation that stands out was about how we would react if we had a child who wasn't straight. I had never really thought about this deeply, and my initial reactions were rooted in the biases I had grown up with. Amaya challenged me, sharing her views on acceptance and love. Over time, she helped me understand the importance of accepting and supporting a child no matter their sexual orientation. This shift in perspective was profound. I realized how much I had been missing by clinging to outdated ideas. My character began to change, and I started to judge people based on their actions, not their backgrounds.
This transformation extended beyond our relationship. I started seeking friendships with people who have good character, regardless of their background. I no longer discriminated against people right from the get-go and became much more open-minded. This openness has also influenced my career aspirations. I now want to work as a Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) with kids who have autism, driven by a newfound empathy and understanding.
My biggest takeaway for you? Surround yourself with people who challenge you. Engage in conversations with those who have different viewpoints. This kind of environment fosters real growth and broadens your perspective. In just eight months, I transformed more than I had in my entire life by opening up to someone with different opinions. You can too.
